Thursday, August 26, 2004

Stuck.

Its been more than 6 months now and more than an year since we uprooted ourselves to make a home in a new country. I think I have coped well, considering all the problems we have been facing and not a soul to help us out except our faith ! The house thing is still where it was, hasn't happened and stuck, hubs job is a big big big issue; he is extremely unhappy but can't do a thing about it except see it through, time will decide for us either ways....it always does...doesn't it ??!! I worry about my lil fello, he's happy enough as of now, but I worry I am not doing enough...This summer i couldn't enroll him anywhere (had thought we were going to move) and as a result he's been stuck at home, no football, no tennis, no nothing...and sometimes when i see other moms (of course they are all born and brought up here !) all confident, I feel so guilty...as if I am not doing enough..sighing...I am always beating myself for things...I should stop I think and give myself a lil credit for things.....have been supporting hubs through it all...keeping all options open and not pressurising him either ways..told him..if he wants to go back..I'll support his decision..whatever it might be ! What more can i do ! ..And then, as if all this wasn't enough I had relatives from back home staying with us...doling advice about how I should be doing more for my son and in the process making me cry..literally ! I felt so humiliated...there wasn't any need to...but i was feeling low...and it really hurt !

But things could be worse..much much worse..and they aren't :-)
I'll pull through..come what may...! I am made of much sterner stuff..!
AS for HIM ...! what of HIM...he came and he left....thats all there is to it. Thats all I am determined to make it.
Feelings ??!! What of them ! They can bloody go drown themselves somewhere and being responsible is my middle name..boring..unfashionable..but solid !

1 Comments:

At 7:58 PM, Blogger Pincushion said...

Thank you soooooo much Rachel Ann...it means so much to me that you care..and it makes me feel that much more stronger to go on..no matter what..:-)
Thank you !

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

MyShoutbox.com - Free Shoutbox! Who Links Here
Blogroll Me! Blog Search Engine

< ? Blogging Mommies # >

« ? Verbosity # »

< ? Blogging Mommies # >

Listed on Blogwise