Melody in motion...

M

The flutist.

The sound of clicking heels ricocheted off the gleaming grey granite ; around me the heaving mass of black coats and hats rushed off in the fluorescence to destinations unknown; faces set harder than the hard granite, eyes avoiding each other, who knew what lurked beneath ??!!
The cold airport was a shock after the smoky, warm, woodsy flames of the Alpine autumn; why was it so hard for most to smile ?? I tightened my coat, as a shiver shimmyed up my spine; I stopped mid-stride, suddenly without warning incurring some cold glares (what else, hmmm ??). It filled me up, this haunting resonance; it drew me on..and..there he was, emanating incongrous unashamed emotional frailty amidst the cold, hard, calculating mass of what passed for humanity; the melody overflowing..sudden shafts of light breaking from underneath his wrinkled fluttering fingers flying over the holes of his flute in graceful pirouettes; speaking perhaps of sapphire lakes and misty valleys, of mountain brooks and perhaps of even more mountainous heartbreaks; I stood there..transfixed...
Quiet.
Lost.
My baggage scattered around..my life..??
I carefully placed a few francs in the upturned hat.
The flight was announced.
The mask fell in place.
The black mass carried me on.
Where was I going...???

Life or Death !!....Baby Luke's future...??

This is further to my previous post (scroll down) on who should decide the future of critically ill babies. Such a case was Baby Charlotte's case..in who's case the courts decided that she should be allowed to die in peace..as opposed to the parents desire that she be allowed to fight for her life.....

Further to that is now the case of Baby Luke who suffers from Edwards syndrome, a rare genetic disorder..and now his mother is fighting for the right to decide his future..to let him live....

These are highly emotive issues..very painful indeed and I for one can't imagine what the parents must be going through..but as I said earlier its a question that can't be decided easily and the loss is huge either ways...and I must admit..I don't know whats right either...
To die with dignity in peace..or to fight as long as possible...

YOU decide.
(click link for the latest article)

An autumn day.........

Its just one of those days....

Burrowed deep into the sofa, a softness settling around me, the silence speaks and my heart's humming life. A cascade of feelings bathing me, long forgotten longings, gently nudging memories, half closed eyes see something through the gently rising vapours from a cup of hot tea...
My entire being a tight furry ball; the light filters through in fits and starts as I try to hold on forever to the swelling that is my heart. Something drips wet on my hands and I stare at the pearly water on my palm, a steady beat being beaten and I try to understand, why...???
I get up and float around glancing towards the trees, a burst of autumn flames invading my senses, the cold breeze stinging me, just what I need !
Bursting into lives, every once a while, a shared whisper, the slightest brush of warm fingers, the glance lingering slightly longer; not saying much as conversations are murmurred ; a candle flickers and crystal tinkles....
A kaleidoscope of memories, a cracked mirror of milling images, a lonesome tune hummed in the park, your receding back as you walked away, on yet another autumn day.......

Who should have more right over a child's life..parents..doctors..the courts ??!!!

On the 8th of October, it was reported in The Times that the courts had taken the decision that the next time she stops breathing she shouldn't be resuscitated and baby Charlotte must be allowed to die.......

Its been haunting me ever since....

I have taken a long time to post this..mulling over it in my head again and again and again..baby Charlotte's picture..her face covered in tubes..her eyes vacant and staring (or were they trying to say something ???)....

My instinctive reaction was that it was the parents prerogative to decide, that they should have the first right over their daughter's life ! They wanted their daughter, who was born prematurely, to have a fighting chance to survive, that she be given every chance to live. Surely it was the parent's prerogative..their choice ?

But then again....

Parents may not always be right, perhaps we need a more objective eye to decide what is best in the longer run. The quality of Baby Charlotte's life was terrible since the moment she was born. She had been kept alive only because of the machines and it was known that this is how she would live ..if at all..alive..but only in name...

I don't know whats right any more..I can see both view points..I understand both..and feel both are right..I can't make up my mind about what's right in this case....

and Baby Charlotte's face continues to haunt me.....
and today another desperately ill baby's fate is going to be decided in court.See here for article.

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Divinity....

This amazing pic was sent to me by my dear friend from somewhere in the Himalayas ! A very big and heartfelt thank you to him ! Thank you ! (click on the pic to see the full resolution)

Ashes.

I opened the door and it all came tumbling out
I looked at the heap lying at my feet and tried to remember
what it was that I so needed to do....
I look, sitting amidst the heap of rubble, at the remnants
of what once was, what is it that I so wanted us to be ?
I gather the scattered pieces, neatly piling them, juxtaposing them
just so, rearranging them ; with a passionate burst of freedom, I become for a moment just the way I want to be , wanting us to be ....
I look over my shoulders, wondering if I could catch a passing glimpse
of what could have been, scorchingly warm, destructively divine; in a moment, an embrace is broken, reduced to nothing, a smouldering pile of ashes lying at my feet..
and I realise with a sudden start, the ashes are me...
but
here I am..resurrected and renewed, the proverbial Phoenix that the woman always IS !!!

Simplicity...

Where has simplicity in life disappeared...
Happiness was just two new dresses in an year..on birthdays and Diwali...waiting to visit grandparents during summer holidays..and train journeys to little towns in compartments full of friendly strangers...of food shared smilingly with kind strangers..and exchanging life stories..so that strangers were no longer strangers...
Happiness was smiling at cooing babies and being hugged tightly...bedraggled flowers being presented shyly in tightly clenched fists...little cards made so proudly with shiny tinsel proclaming love and adoration..happiness was sharing a hot meal with a noisy family on rainy monsoon days..looking at trees pregnantly heavy with mangoes in the hot summer days..
Happiness was nothing to do with how much money one had or anyone else had..happiness was nothing to do with the size of one's house or car..happiness had nothing to do..how many clothes one had and which brand they were..happiness had nothing to do with worrying about strangers and the teaching of fear....
Why isn't life simple anymore..??!!!
Where have all the simple pleasures gone...??!!